I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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