You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
