he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
