Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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