Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
