i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
