I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
