so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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