The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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