And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As shirtless as possible
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
