Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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