Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
