im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
