Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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