I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize