gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
