hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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