Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
