I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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