Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So much rum. So many feels.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
