Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
