the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
