I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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