he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
