is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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