She announced her abortion via fbk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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