You're completely useless in the revolution.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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