I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize