erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
