do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
