Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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