Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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