if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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