My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My dick has a subreddit
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
