Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
