Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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