you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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