well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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