shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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