brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
