There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
