But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
