So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
