I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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