You just made me feel so damn special
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
