I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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