tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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