Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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