Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
