Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
