Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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