I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize