Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
