I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
