is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
