I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
