She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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