You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
