I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize