try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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