My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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